I just chased the everclear with Listerine...I think I found my new chaser!
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
How is it that on the one day I'm just moving my car at 6:30 I get the walk of shame looks but when I come home at 9 am in a torn dress holding heels old ladies smile at me?
I deserve this hangover.
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