Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
No talking tonight. Just drinking and puking up memories
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
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