We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
I'm trying to have a "pick me up from my house so I can get completely annihilated night" any takers? Cmon people this is what friends are for
Making drunken Mac n cheese at 3 am I understand why witches constantly stir their cauldrons. Much more homogenized temperature and slim chance of boiling over. Good job witches.
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So when this rash is gone wanna hang out?
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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