There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
Well, I looked over and you and him were each making out with a fireman. And then you switched. And you probably spent an hour like that.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
You've got the chocolate, drugs and my pants. You hold all the cards...
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
I smell like beef jerky
That's among the sexiest things you've ever said to me.
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