I am in a vortex of obligation.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
kill, fuck, marry: alice cullen, hermione granger, ginny weasley.
damn... fuck alice for sure, I feel bad but i think I have to say marry ginny... and kill hermoine! I can't believe I'm answering this right now.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Please warn me if you ever end up in porn, cause I don't want to stumble across that on accident, okay?
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I'm pretty sure the guy who was grinding on me while I was trying to get a drink at he bar was one of my tinder matches
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
