I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
alex threw up in my bong. i'm going to call it a night.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
Randomize
