Going back to my hometown to drink absinthe with highschool boys. Remind me to evaluate this decision tomorrow.
My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Your stories are the best. I feel like you're a spy among the heteros. It's not fair.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
Children cease to be precious when they crap their shorts in the pool I exercise at.
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
I don't mean to crush your hopes and dreams but having sex IN the Stanley Cup isn't possible
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Randomize
