Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
Just flooded the bathroom while masturbating in the shower. Managed to squeege most of it up. Desperately need to get laid.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
When you can pee with one hand accurately while texting, you drink too much.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
Just fat and dog and sweat all over the bed. All night long.
We're not piercing ourselves today.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I'm the one who said we should take things slow. I'm also the one who forced him into the back on my car so we could have sex.
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
Randomize
