There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
The weird kid in front of me is reading an article titled "why don't i have a girlfriend?" the article then continues to talk about the mathematical equation for obtaining a girlfriend. exhibit a of why he is single
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I had a sex dream. With two guys. And my subconscious decided to put your dick on BOTH OF THEM. If there is a society where that does not mean "I cherish you" I do not want to live there.
50% drunk capacity currently
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
currently buying a pregnancy test while braless so happy november to you too
Yeeeaahhh, I'm in no rush to dismiss a level 6 booty-call that pays my bar tabs and understands my Harry Potter obsession.
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
