What was that guy's name that you dated that wore the leotard?
i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Found out people don't like it when you get drunk at fundraising auctions and bid in foreign currencies.
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
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