if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
Mike passed out early so we kept filling his mouth with redi-whip and letting the dog lick it out, but he started getting hives so we stopped.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Leaves on the ground. Coffee in one hand and your man in my other. Lovely fall morning.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
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