The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
Drunkenly bought a $240 realtor course last night. Apparently even drunk me thinks my future is going nowhere
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Fair warning birthday party last night avoid kitchen & upstairs bathroom if you value your remaining sanity
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
Randomize
