Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
The best walk of shames are on the highway
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