My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
broke, out of weed, out of gas, out of food, and my gf just left me.
you're writing country songs now?
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
Well he has a golden retriever set as his background so there's no way he was filming us having sex
I just gave him road head. He came in the Taco Bell drive thru which seems pretty typical for my life.
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
God specifically crafted these hands to deal out orgasms.
Randomize
