you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Remember in school when they told us our vag was made just the right size for our future husband? I must say I am enjoying trying to find that perfect fit.
Using your Catholic School education as an excuse for this? Why didn't I think of that?!
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Why was there a 1000 piece puzzle covered in hot sauce being cooked in the microwave?
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I found a bag of weed while packing. Now packing is like creating tiny universes inside of boxes.
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
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