is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Longest 30 seconds of my life
10/10 so not recommended
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