is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
and then he publicly announced her herpes on facebook.
Last thing i remember is pounding jager and puking in that nerds george foreman grill. Then i wake up this morning with some random tooth brush in my mouth
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
Shouting "one vagina to rule them all" was probably not the best way to meet our best mates fiance
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
he had to stop me from eating snow off the street on the way back to pick up our cars. that's how hungover i am.
Randomize
