woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
I am telling you that nothing wakes you up like stomach acid exiting your nostrils at 10AM
Breaking personal boundaries is my trademark
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I just took a service station dump so foul I had to buy gas out of guilt
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
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