We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I really don't think you should have 'baptized' your tattoo in vodka the same night you got it.
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
