i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
she asked me where ive been her entire life and the guy in the room next to us yelled "with other women bitch!"
I wanted him to come me this time. So I told him last time I was in the city I hit a lady on the head with an inflatable Santa Claus and just found out that the restraining order she requested against me was granted. We never hung out.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
I’m tired of his bullshit and premature ejaculation. I’m going to hotel bars and finding a guy who is DTF
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