hey babe. i'll pick you up in my mom's car. with my mom. she has nothing to do tonight.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Randomize
