I'll bet she douches with gravy.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Can I also remind you that we insisted on touching his mustache?
Well of course I remember it took up like 20 minutes of my night.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
Yeah, I probably need some combination of electric shock, massive quantities of LSD, and enough couch time time to make Woody Allen say "Enough".
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
Randomize
