You know your life is awesome when sometimes you walk down the street eating a sandwich and you run into someone you had a threesome with. And not say hi.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Well it's a moot point because I did have a sink & I peed in it.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
Your cock deserves a montage
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Now I have the opportunity to have Chris Pratt or Channing Tatum?!? What a time to be alive.
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