new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
I just realized that "Hey girl, when you gonna let me tap that?" is in iambic pentameter. I'm going to write a poem...
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
8 stitches. Next time I decide to twerk while doing a keg stand, stop me.
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
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