Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Do your friends by chance have our inflatable deer head?
Nevermind, it's in the dryer.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Dude, some chick came over here earlier and thought my lube was hand sanitizer. She poured it all over her hands.
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
Randomize
