We won't sleep together?
so now she's a stripper
can't say i'm surprised
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
thank you for letting me use your house as a brothel.
Brightest idea yet: lets drink enough at ladies-drink-free nights to make up for the cost of tampons. Breaking even on having vaginas!
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
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