Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
i think i just was awoken by the sound of my roommate choking on her boyfriend's dick
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I gurantee you I'll be the only one dressed as a giraffe.
i'm just sitting here watching hocus pocus, eating takeout, and taking self esteem quizzes online while everyone is out partying. you tell me how my night is.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
IM FEEDING MY CAT ALL THE HAM
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
I mean, if you want to light yourself on fire for maximum accuracy, far be it from me to stop you
where are my pants?
in the oven.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
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