found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
All I know is that I woke up with glitter all over me and blood on my shoes. It wasn't my blood.
I threw up through my nose tonight. Happy cinco de mayo
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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