Yeah, it wasn't as bad as I thought. I tried not to clench and things went pretty smoothly.
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
If I get to the point of singing Man of Constant Sorrow then please god let me do it, record it, then cut me off.
Sorry it's taking so long, it's harder to take an ass pic with an iPad than you think
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I know they deliver ice cream, but do you think I can ask the delivery guy to watch the rest of the movie with me too?
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
90% sure the total babe I have been talking to all night has a kid. Ugh, so sad right now.
Im so high
Randomize
