youre lurking in front of me
The old saying is "its not the size of the boat-- but the motion of the ocean" is obviously for those on the "Small side." I am of the belief that "You can't churn butter with a toothpick"
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Do you think it'd be inappropriate to have an I'm Not Keeping My Baby Party the day after her baby shower?
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
Dude true life I died at the derby...I lost everyone I knew, went down a bourbon and mud slip and slide, lost my hat, fell off the roof of a porta potty, sprained my ankle and knee and then got arrested.
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
Surprise court date day!!! Wake the fuck up!
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
So unmotivated today.
Who am I kidding. So unmotivated this decade.
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
You left your pants here again. 4th time in a row. How can you walk home without pants?
Randomize
