and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
Oh I woke up in my neighbors garage using one of their sleeping bags, as my neighbor was doing laundry in there.
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
Not only does DQ have s'mores shakes, sonic has a hot dog in a pretzel bun, and Wendy's has a burger in a pretzel bun. Important things are happening.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Randomize
