he wasnt completely random
you're right. you met him once and didnt know his name. you still dont
i get things done.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
I feel like god wrote up a contract of my life, and i just signed off on that shit without reading the fine print.
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
