two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
We should have parties more often. I ended up with 90 beers and someone cleaned my toilet.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
You drank almost the entire bottle of everclear and wanted to walk around. I guess your best friends sister is a cop and you wanted her to arrest you like the lil wayne song.... so sorry dude.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
Day drunk and a can of soup and wine straight from the bottle and alone and on my kitchen floor.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
KNEE DEEP IN HOES. SEND HELP.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
Randomize