Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
just threw up what i'm pretty sure look like contents of a lava lamp
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
I just want a teacup pet pig so I can take him to parties with me and never have to walk home alone again.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
How many other adults do you think have slept naked under the Winnie the Pooh blanket sober?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
I THINK HE DOES. OMG!!!!! OMG I FUCKED A GUY W A FAKE LEG AND I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW!!!!!!????!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
