My boss' voice literally gives me gas
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Yeah, let's go with that. Fuck that weak moment of complete honesty I just had.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
