nothing i could have done in life could have prepared me for walking in on her SHITTING on my rug.
Needless to say there is no second date for this girl.
yet...
Got laid at the last second. Facebook chat is good for something afterall.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
he sent me a picture of him holding out his pinky so we could pinky promise. i have to fuck him now
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
