Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I get a nice feeling when i open my fridge and see it filled with thirty beers and half a leftover jimmy johns pickle.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
The only thing worse than being hungover is being hungover and not able to open your mouth wide enough to eat a cheeseburger
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Ya, so he said he had to change before he would go to Pizza Hut because he pissed himself. He ran into his house and came back wearing a cowboy hat.........and his piss covered jeans.
Well I'm sorry but he seemed so happy being drunk at noon.
I just woke up on the living room floor at my parents house. The last thing I remember was making a scene at Buffalo Wild Wings because our waitress "Sent the game into overtime" with a 0-0 score
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
So what's your itinerary for Amsterdam?
Show up, get drunk, get laid, try not to miss my flight home.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
Think I have the only job where I can be naked in a room with my manager at work. Apart from hookers
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Randomize