I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Doing the walk of shame at 1 AM. Stumbled across a rave. This night is epic.
When I said I wanted you to make noise during sex, I didn't mean mocking ones.
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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