its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
As long as you don't die I'm in full support of your drinking decisions
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
Caprisun cuts tequila surprisingly well...
Do the right thing and go fuck yourself off a cliff
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
I can't tell if my roommate is crying or having sex and the fact that there's anime in the background is only making this more confusing
Is it acceptable to pay for WiFi on flights solely for the purpose of getting on Tinder to find a sugar daddy on the plane that doesn’t mind upgrading me to first class?
Do it. You’re flying for two weddings. You’re gonna need that first class.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
Randomize
