omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
Question. Will thrown up fruit loops go down the shower drain?
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
He led me to his room and handed me the remote, he left to go take a shower and there is a group of guys across the hall just staring at me... Its like they know something i dont. Help me.
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I woke up and my pants were in the kitchen but my shoes were next to my bed. Do the math...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
