Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
You were buying shots for everyone, saying, "I got a tax refund. I'm a MILLIONAIRE."
You were holding up a boot and yelling boot gang
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I will warn you that there is a pic of me riding a buffalo....and for the record, I was completely sober!!
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