Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
You told the entire smokers deck that you were blowing .08 now and anyone else willing later
Ummm so I'm at the hospital and just heard some guy get tazed......twice.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
You pretty much lost your mind. Your ego has gotten ten time the size of your balls.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Apparently I'm some kind of sexual camel.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
Randomize
