I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
im pretty sure this vending machine only exists when im drunk
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
he fucked me to the beat of the construction going on outside my house. i will never look at jackhammers the same ever again.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
I stared at his lazy eye for so long, he thought I had one too. Then we bonded over our lazy eyes. I had to fake one all night. My head is fucking killing me. NEVER pretend to have a lazy eye.
Just had sex in the darkroom, while a class was going on ten feet away. I finally have a good sex story.
When you are old and getting humped by saggy balls every other weekend you are gonna wish you had more sex with freshly legal boys. Your vagina will thank you one day. Don't let her down.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
So my roommate just came out of the shower with a dude...guess that answers all questions as to whether or not he's gay
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
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