I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
my favorite part of this morning was sitting at the gynecologist smelling like cigarettes and wearing yesterday's clothes.
Randomize
