K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
It wasn't exactly a dick pic. It was more like a body shot with a hint of wiener.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
Randomize
