Fucking love it maybe bedazzle some baby seals? Make them cuter? Who would club a bedazzled baby seal? Only a fucking monster.
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
his cum shot went directly into his bellybutton. felt like i was playin ski ball
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
If I interpreted our horoscopes correctly...you should be coming home with an 8 ball. Just saying.
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
I'm gonna have to get you a special blowjob bib -- like a lobster bib -- but instead of a picture of a little red lobster, it will have a picture of a penis, with 3 big squirts coming out.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
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