is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
So we are lighting beer bottles on fire and breaking them in half to make glasses
That sounds dangerous
Don't worry......were wearing oven mits.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I threw up on my way to work while listening to "the good times are killing me". this award goes to modest mouse for creating the most poetic puke ever
If I were you I'd use my green card to do more coke and less talking
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Muscle is literally tearing itself off of my shins. No I am not going on another bar crawl with you.
I'll pay?
Pick me up at 9.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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