I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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