So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
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