You should really figure out how to get me a picture that will pop up on my phone when you call
Just upload a picture of Bea Arthur. That's what my soul looks like these days
My vagina smells like strawberry tangerine twist.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
Think of it this way, instead of a puppy, we're getting a baby.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
But if you were going to pour a liquid on your naked body in fall its definitely pumpkin inspired something.
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
yknow last night was like... the third night in a row alex woke me up to make sure i wasn't dead and tbh it's sorta sweet.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
I did not marry a roomba.
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