i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
NOTHING IN THE WORLD IS GOOD SOFT
NOT ICECREAM NOT DICKS
NOTHING
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
i got a dick pic last night and the mother fucker had a Jesus picture in the background.
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
I have a bag of frozen peas on my vagina. If you want to talk about real problems.
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
