He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
after tonight, seriously nothing could taste better than toothpaste
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
That was a very uncomfortable conversation to have without pants on. But his mom was pretty cool about it.
She's like the sister I never had that I want to bang.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
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