i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
legit been throwing up since 7am. told my parents the two bowls of puke in my dorm were soup
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
He was visibly upset that you'd rather eat nachos than have sex with him.
Pretty sure I can show you the text you sent me stating some interest in my penis entering your mouth if said circumstances were met.
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
Randomize
