By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
I found an HIV test/information brochure on the kitchen table and what i can only assume to be an "I'm sorry you might have AIDS" gift bag, complete with a candle and popcorn, and I haven't seen you in 36 hours. You good?
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Topenga is going to be back on TV. Finally my fantasy of her being a milf in junior high has come full circle.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
I am going to piss jack daniels before daylight.
Daylight. It is daylight. Who will give you a ride back?
I hope no one. I want to walk and have a bus hit me.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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