I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
My phone broke again .... im not really sure how im going 2 explain the teeth marks to the ppl at the Verizon store
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
COCAINE IS GR8
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
